Today is a day of rememberance and hope for the babies and children that have gone too soon. It's a day to speak up and break the silence about Miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. It is a day of healing for all of those who have been affected. Today we grow stronger on our journey and with hope; we grieve for the little ones we love and lost.
If you are new to our story I encourage you to look back and read my previous posts.
This past weekend I had a deep and in depth conversation with my Grandma about how difficult our struggle is. We talked about how I feel guilty for not being over the loss of our babies and how I was so depressed after. She shared with me that she had five miscarriages while her and my Grandpa were trying to grow their family. I had no idea. Even though we're going back around 50 years, and that she has 5 kids, 11 grandchildren, and 3 (almost 5) great grandchildren, she said she is still saddened by the loss of her other 5 from time to time.
After talking to her I realize that grief never fully leaves us, we just find a way to cope with it. It has been a year since we have lost both of our babies and although I find that I can still wake up and smile from day to day, not a day goes by that I don't think about what happened or wonder who they are. On this Day of Hope, I pray that any mother who has experienced this loss can find some comfort in knowing that one day we will meet these angels again. I know that I personally have days where I am perfectly happy and looking to the future, and I have days where the sight of a pregnant belly, a walk by Buy Buy Baby, or a baby being pushed in a stroller tears at my heart and causes the green jealousy monster to break loose.
If you get a chance today, google August 19, Day of Hope. We are trying to spread awareness and break the silence over what so many people are holding in their hearts. The loss of a child is never easy but as a strong community we can offer support and find the courage to know that everything will be okay. We stay strong and keep going because we have to. But support and love from the people in our lives makes all the difference in the world.
Say a prayer for those grieving today. And whether you're an angel mommy, daddy, grandparent, aunt, or uncle, know that those angel babies are with us always and we will see them again some day.
We lost a pregnancy this winter, at 11 weeks. My due date would have been tomorrow, 8/20. I'm sad this week.
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